Monday, September 20, 2010


Thankfully, I've never experienced a really traumatic event in my life. No one close to me has ever died. I've never suffered any sort of devastating blow. I've been so fortunate. A woman on a message board that I frequent lost her 4 month old son on Saturday. I cannot even fathom what she is going through. I sat here for a few minutes with my blog window open wondering what I would do if suddenly Ryan were gone. I spent a lot of time today contemplating that very idea and it seems so utterly ridiculous that I can't even imagine it. Looking around my living room now, I see his bumbo, his basket of toys, a dirty burp cloth, the bottles in the kitchen, and I cannot imagine having to face those things and continue living life without him. I've often thought the same of losing my husband, Paul. What if I had to come home one day to his clothes on the floor on his side of the bed, his body wash in the shower, the scent of his cologne lingering in the air? The thought of living a life without either of these people is preposterous and absurd. It brings to mind the story of Matt, Liz, and Madeline Loelgin. Its a great blog if you've never read it. My point is that we can't imagine, cannot even come close, until it happens. My thoughts are with all of these people and I hope that time washes over them and heals their hearts.

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