Friday, December 31, 2010


Today is the last day of what was a very significant year for us. The year started with me being pregnant and is ending with a very energetic (almost) 8 month old little boy. I feel like I had been planning 2010 for a very long time.

I started this blog to chronicle mommyhood, joining the mommy blogger world. I am proud of myself for actually keeping it updated even though I have no idea who most of my readers are. I'm just glad someone is reading.

When I look back on 2010, of course I'll remember the birth of my first child most. But I also hope to remember what it felt like to become a mother, not just to have a baby, to remember how far I've come, what I've learned, the friends I've made.

Hopes for 2011: I hope to be the best mom I can be, the best wife I can be. I hope to influence someone's life in a positive way. I hope to continue to grow our little family and learn something new every day. I hope I'm as thankful as I was in 2010.

I'm ringing in the new year by making no bake cookies and watching tv. I couldn't be happier.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Happy Christmas Eve

I woke up this morning to my beautiful son and husband playing in the living room. When Ryan saw me standing in the hallway, he smiled and crawled to me. He is exactly 7.5 months today. Who knew 7.5 months ago that I'd have this baby who could smile and crawl and show affection? When your baby is born, you love them more than you'd ever imagine and you hope that they love you back. You wait very impatiently for weeks and weeks for them to give you a smile, and when they do, your heart melts. My heart still melts every time he sees me across the room and smiles at me when our eyes meet. I love him more than I ever thought possible. And I am in awe of him every day.

I know I have so many things to look forward to. He's crawling, pulling up, cruising, and I imagine will be walking within the next few months. My baby is morphing into a little boy and it makes my heart break and swell with pride all at the same time. He's growing so fast and I can't help but think, "stay little. please. just a little longer".

As we prepare to celebrate our first Christmas together as a threesome, I'm just reflecting on how this time last year, we had just found out we were expecting a boy. We were still just two. We had no idea the changes that were to come. Your life really changes when you become a mother...whether you adopt, have a biological child, foster a child, or even act as a temporary mother during a student exchange. You become more than yourself, more than you thought was possible. I am so thankful to have my son. He is my SUN.

I am looking forward to tomorrow morning, all of us in our jammies, me with coffee, opening our presents and celebrating together. Merry Christmas, everyone!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010


We're going on a week straight of congestion. Paul and I have both been through our rounds and are feeling fine now. Ryan, on the other hand, is still stuffy. We've been doing everything we're supposed to...saline drops in the nose, bulb syringe, sitting in a steamy room, running the humidifier....everything. And he's fine during the day but night time has been a struggle. Most nights, he ends up in the guest bed with Paul and still sleeps fitfully.

My friend Kim mentioned that someone she knew had tried the Nosefrida and swore by it. We checked out their website, giggled and gagged and discussed how gross the concept was. Fast forward a few days to Sunday evening. Ryan stayed the night at my mom's because Paul was deathly ill and I was exhausted. He had a rough night. No one slept much (except me and Paul, woohoo). I decided I'd get over my ick factor and get one. I also wanted to pick up some Vapor Bath. I headed to Babies R Us during my lunch break on Monday and was sad to see that BRU doesn't carry the Nosefrida. So I whipped out my iphone and found the closest baby boutique store that carried it and headed over.

I never found the store that day and sadly, ran out of time and had to go back to work. Not to worry, I thought, I'll go back on Tuesday. Well, today I went during lunch, confident in my directions. I found the store with no problems. I parked, walked right up, and saw that the store had closed. Forever. Irritated that I had, yet again, wasted my lunch break, I went back to work. Luckily, my mom was able to go to another store and pick it up.

I was so excited to get home and try it out. We did it twice on Ryan. I've read all these reviews from women whose babies don't even cry. I wonder if they're putting saline drops in, or how old their baby really is, because Ryan? He's 7.5 months old, is squirmy, and impossible to suction without him screaming like a banshee. Anyways, he still screamed bloody murder but I sucked out so much snot! It was awesome.

Now, I wasn't able to completely clear him out. I figure it's just like if I blew my nose and was still kind of stuffy, which toooootally happens. So I understand how he must feel. I definitely give this product a thumbs up. It's certainly not FUN to suck the snot out of your kid's nose using your own lung power, but it works, doesn't damage the inside of his little nose, and is easy to clean. I'd recommend it to anyone.

p.s. for those of you wondering - no, you don't get their snot in your mouth. There's a little barrier that prevents that.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

A Plague Upon Our House

I mentioned last time that Ryan's eye looked puffy and that when we took him to the pediatrician, she said it was fine but he was a little congested.

Well, that congestion turned into a full blown cold. Ryan's first cold - 7 months old. One for the baby book (no, seriously, I wrote it in the book). This is how last week went:

Monday - Paul stays home from work sick. I am doubtful. Ryan's eye looks a little puffy.
Tuesday - I wake up feeling sick. Ryan's eye still looks puffy, so we go to the pediatrician. I stay home from work due to illness.
Wednesday - Paul and I both feel sick, both drag our asses to work. Ryan's congestion worsens.
Thursday - We have no idea what we're in for. Paul and I are feeling better and Ryan's congestion is manageable during the day. Nightfall comes and our sweet baby boy is replaced with a snot spewing demon who won't stop crying. Paul makes a late night run to CVS to buy the Little Noses kit and some baby Vicks. Neither of us sleeps more than 4 hours.
Friday - hopped up on caffeine and sugar, I make it through the work day despite being tired as hell. Armed with vicks on Ryan's feet, careful placement of the humidifier, and a bulb syringe, we all manage to sleep from 9 to 5 AM Saturday morning. Woo hoo! 8 hours!

Yesterday, Ryan seemed fine, so we went ahead and had my friend Kelli and her family over. Kelli and I have been friends for over 10 years, getting closer to 15 than 10. We're known to do things together. We both got married in the fall of 2007 and both were expecting our first babies in the summer of 2010. Kelli's son, Aiden, came early, and thus is only 3 weeks younger than Ryan. Had I not been induced, they very well could only be 2 weeks apart in age. We had a great time. Both babies were well behaved and played well together. I am very much looking forward to them growing up together. We decided not to exchange gifts with each other, but instead, the boys would exchange gifts. It gets too expensive to get a gift for everyone. Ryan got Aiden the Twilight Turtle Nightlight. Since he's such a planner, he bought it back in September! Aiden's room is done in turtles so Ryan knew it would match perfectly! Aiden gave Ryan a cool turtle that zips up. Inside are different colored soft balls. This is what it looks like. Ryan loves it!

We were so tired after Jonathan, Kelli and Aiden left that we went to bed very early. I made a pot of mac and cheese, took some Nyquil, and was asleep by 8:30. Paul also went to bed very early. He isn't feeling well today so he's resting while I get some housework done and Ryan is at my dad's. We arranged to have Ryan stay the night at my mom's tonight so hopefully both of us can get well rested and back to 100%!

Christmas is only 6 days away and I am very excited! We also got the insurance issues taken care of from our robbery while we were on vacation. I am glad to have that done, finally. The only thing left to do before Christmas is drink hot chocolate, listen to Christmas music, and spend time with family!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I love December

I really really really love Christmas. Especially now that I'm a real grown up and can do whatever I want.

My husband's mom bakes hundreds of cookies each holiday season. From rum balls to thumbprints to their infamous Good Cookies, she bakes tirelessly and always has yummy cookies to serve up from the beginning of December through New Years. Me? I'm not quite as dedicated as she is. I don't typically bake because it's just a lot of work and I'm lazy. However, this weekend I made my first attempt at Cake Balls.

Long story short: you bake a box cake mix, add a vat of icing, roll into balls and dip in chocolate or another candy coating flavor. I did yellow cake with cream cheese frosting and dipped in milk chocolate candy coating. The result: delicious and ridiculously addictive.

I really want to do some no bake cookies this weekend, but those are even worse for my waistline because I really CAN NOT stop eating them once I start. Yummy peanut buttery chocolatey oatmealy goodness. Who could resist?! We'll see how up to it I feel once the weekend rolls around.

Nothing new is going on except for the plague upon my house. Monday, Paul was home sick from work. I noticed Ryan's little left eye looked a little puffy and decided that if it still looked weird Tuesday morning that I was taking him to his pediatrician. Tuesday morning rolls around and I feel like death and Ryan's eye still looked funny. So to the pediatrician we went. Nothing serious. She says contact dermatitis and that he's been rubbing his little eye raw causing broken blood vessels. So I've been slathering his face in vaseline. He's practically glowing. I stayed home Tuesday as well and spent the day in bed knocked on my ass. Tuesday evening was a blur because I was miserable. I managed to drag my ass to work today and I think I feel better for it. Around 3:00, my ears popped and I magically started feeling better. Paul seems to be better too. Ryan's a little stuffy but his eye is back to normal. I had to use the ball syringe on him for the first time today and it was awful. Poor guy. Here's hoping we're all back to 100% ASAP.

My bff and her family are coming over Saturday. I am so excited to see her little one, Aiden. He's 3 weeks younger than Ryan and sadly, I haven't seen him since he was about 2 weeks old. How is that possible?! The kid is 6 months old now! We're having a little Christmas get together at my house mid-afternoon since the babies have to be home and in bed and they live kind of far away. It's going to be great to see the boys together and see how they interact.

Anyways, Christmas is next weekend and I couldn't be more excited!

Saturday, December 11, 2010


I am a planner. I decided months ago that I'd have 5% of my paycheck deferred to a separate checking account to plan for Christmas spending. It worked out great, despite not receiving any pay for about 3 months while on maternity leave. Sadly, some of our Christmas gifts were stolen during Home Invasion 2010. Luckily, though, it wasn't more than a couple and they were coincidentally all for the same person.

Anyways, I've been done Christmas shopping for ages, since before Halloween. Now our tree is up and I've slowly been wrapping. Now I'm even done with that. I really love Christmas. It's my favorite holiday and it's really nice to be done and just be able to enjoy the next couple of weeks.

I've been thinking of making Cake Pops or another goodie. I almost always make no bake cookies. I am just so excited to spend our first Christmas together with Ryan and celebrate with our family.

What is your favorite Christmas tradition?

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Thanks, Shutterfly

So a few weeks ago, I participated in a promotion sponsored by Shutterfly which resulted in me receiving 50 free Christmas cards. I was so excited when I got my orange box in the mail, stuffed full of my Christmas cards. I had gotten Ryan's 6 month pictures done and the photographer specially edited one so I could use it on my card. I was excited to get them. and for free!

Anyways, I got my orange box, excitedly opened it and looked at the cards. I was immensely disappointed. The image was the one I had uploaded but it wasn't very clear. I took them to work, kept them in my car for a few days, asked others' opinions, and had decided to just mail them out anyways. Then I got the idea to email Shutterfly and complain. I'm not one to send food back or return damaged clothes, so my hopes of hearing back from them were low.

I filled out their customer service form and politely explained that I was disappointed with the quality of the picture. Less than 24 hours later, I received an email back explaining what had happened, which was, in fact, my fault. Nonetheless, they credited my account for the full amount of the cost of the cards plus some for shipping. I now have my brand new cards (used the right resolution picture this time) and am sending them out tomorrow.

Basically, my point is that Shutterfly could have been all like, "dude this is your fault oh well" but they didn't. They were amazing and I would totally recommend them to anyone.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Kind of sad and a little bit angry.

I've been thinking about breastfeeding lately. Yes, that again. Many of my online friends have babies who are just turning 6 months old. 6 months is a big milestone for breastfeeding. So I'm hearing a lot about it.

I'm just still so disappointed that it didn't go as I had planned. I'm sad and angry and jealous of these women who find it so easy, so second nature. My friend at work came back from her maternity leave last Monday. Her daughter is almost 2 months old and she comes to work with her breast pump and talks about how much easier it is to just feed her daughter straight from the tap rather than pump. Neither is easy. Pumping is hard work. I can't help but be jealous that it's just so EASY for her. A couple of rough weeks and now it magically works just fine. No pain or anything? It just is incredible to me that some women can just do it.

I've self diagnosed myself with IGT (insufficient glandular tissue). It's a condition in which women don't have enough glandular tissue to produce any or enough breastmilk for their child. Ryan latched fine but my body just couldn't produce hardly any milk for him. They say the pump isn't a good judge of how much milk you're producing. My baby would cry after eating and before eating and even when I'd pump, I'd be lucky to get an ounce out of both breasts combined. I am so mad at my body. I don't understand why it can't just work properly.

I wanted so badly to breastfeed and even now, I wish that I had the nursing experience I had hoped for.

I have one of the healthiest babies I know. Ryan has never been sick, is happy and certainly very healthy. I know formula was the best choice for MY family and I don't regret it. I couldn't be one of those mothers who insisted on breastfeeding while watching their child continue to lose weight because of what I wanted. He's a happy, healthy baby who is growing every day and changing right before my eyes, so why can't I accept that my nursing experience was brief and challenging and it's okay to move on?

I love my son. I love the fact that I am not the only one who can feed him. I love that I don't have to pump and I love that he doesn't need to be nursed to sleep. Realistically, I probably would have quit nursing and pumping by now anyways. I guess I'm just having a hard time since I'm reading about fellow mothers who are still nursing and going strong. I'm jealous.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

30 day Fail

I totally failed at my 30 day challenge.

In my defense...we went on vacation starting on the 19th. We were out of town until the 27th only to come home to our house having been broken into.

So I've been dealing with that.'s December and I am excited for Christmas.