I was thinking this morning about the Similac recall and how so many breastfeeding moms must be so grateful that they can breastfeed. I work with a lady who breastfed for the first year! Her youngest son is 2.5 years old. I know women do this all the time, but I don't personally know anyone who exclusively breastfeeds or exclusively gives breastmilk in a bottle. I think its amazing that these women are able to do it. I had an awful breastfeeding experience. Much like everything else when you're a first time mom, I envisioned my child latching perfectly and lovingly gazing into my eyes as he nursed. It was soooo not what I expected. And I wasn't one of those women who just thought it would happen. I read books. I read the internet. I read the LLL messageboards. I felt confident! I knew what to do! Well, you can know all the information but when your body (or your baby) doesn't cooperate, there's not much you can do about it. So many breastfeeding moms truly believe that most times, women CAN breastfeed and that there are only very few who can't. I don't know how true that is, but I do know that I physically could not do it. Yes, the latch hurt. And I'm 99% sure he was on there right. But I had no milk. 2 weeks after delivery, still no milk. Pumping and trying to nurse like crazy, and never any milk. And when I decided to stop trying (which was a heartwrenching decision), I never got engorged. I never leaked. I just never had milk. And that breaks my heart. I don't think you can truly understand what it feels like to want to do the absolute best for your child and then have to make the decision to do second best. I believe formula is as close to breastmilk as possible, and I happily give Ryan several bottles of it a day, but it doesn't mean that I don't wish I was giving him breastmilk. My hope is that next time around, maybe I can breastfeed.
This whole Similac thing pisses me off. I've been signed up for their Strong Moms program for MONTHS and I haven't received an email or anything in regular mail about this recall. In fact, I haven't heard shit from them on this recall. All the information I've gotten has been through Babycenter, who, thankfully, is filled with women who know their shit. Now, I don't feed Ryan Similac. I feed him Parent's Choice because its cheaper, its the same shit, and generics don't have nearly as many recalls as name brand stuff (Infant Tylenol, anyone?). However, I know several moms who DO use Similac, one of which didn't know anything about the recall and learned about it through another friend's facebook status update. I guess they don't feel the need to blast it out there because allegedly, it doesn't pose any "immediate health risk" and infants should only experience "symptoms of gastrointestinal discomfort and refusal to eat." Oh, ONLY those things. And who knows about what the long term effects are. Dude, these people's babies are eating BUGS and BUG LARVAE. That's fucking gross.
Anyways, in other news...its Friday and today is the funeral of Noah, who was 4 months old when he passed last week. I am thinking of Noah's family and my friend Courtney. Courtney, you are in my thoughts today and always. May Noah rest in peace.