Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Life is not fair.

My friend Kristen's husband has stage 4 colon cancer. He is going to die very soon. He's on hospice now. He is in his two years older than my husband. That makes him thirty-three. I am horribly shaken by this news, which I just found out today. Kristen and I worked together back when I lived in Illinois and since I've moved, we haven't talked nearly as much. I knew he was sick but I guess I didn't realize how sick. He's going to die and it's not fair.

I had a bad afternoon. I got screamed at - literally - by one of our District Managers. This is a really hectic time for them and for our stores, as it is for most retailers. I was really upset by it and burst into tears the moment we hung up the phone. And I've let it dictate the rest of my afternoon and evening. I moped around until I went to get Ryan and then I moped around all evening as well. I didn't play with Ryan a lot and now I'm typing this from my bed, where I'm feeling sorry for myself. This is bullshit. I'm feeling sorry for myself because some pompous bully yelled at me for doing my job.

Then I think about my friend and her husband. And I think about The Sikes Family. And I realize that all my pissing and moaning is stupid and I need to get the fuck over myself.

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