Feeling Sorry (for myself)

I have a gigantor blog post in the works about baby food. As you all know, I've been making my own baby food since Ryan started eating it. Anyways, I spent the entire weekend cooking up a storm...sweet potatoes, carrots, and butternut squash (and also managed to attend a party and do 6 loads of laundry) and have plenty of pictures to show for it. I'll work on that tonight.

But for now....I'm feeling sorry for myself. Poor me.

A few weeks ago, my right big toe looked infected. I had been having significant pain in my toe for a few months that I had been ignoring. I finally sucked it up and went to the doctor only for them to give me a prescription for an antibiotic and send me to a podiatrist. The podiatrist (who billed my insurance $700, of which $364 I am responsible for) performed surgery and the pain is gone. It was a badly ingrown toenail. However, despite following his instructions and having been on antibiotics as well as putting an antibiotic ointment on my toe, my toe appears to be infected.

Also, another fun issue: my left toe now hurts like my right one did. I am terrified I need surgery on it as well. It hurts to walk. I tried digging the ingrown toenail out last night, but that only resulted in me waking up at 4 AM to a throbbing toe. I don't want surgery for a couple of reasons: 1. It's surgery and not fun. 2. It fucking hurts to get a shot in your toe. 3. The aftermath is gross. 4. I am not made of money.

Really, it's the money. The way our insurance works is that we have a family fund of $600 that my company pays for. Everything comes out of that. Preventive care is free, so pap smears, flu shots, Ryan's well visits, all free and don't affect the $600. However, since Ryan had a few issues early on and we went to the ped, we've exhausted our $600. After we exhaust that, we pay the contracted rate out of pocket (hence, my $364 mentioned above) until we reach our individual deductible (which is like $1000) and then we pay the traditional 80/20%. So we've exhausted our $600 already and I know I owe Dr. Drunk (did I mention the podiatrist seemed wasted every time I saw him?) all that money. Thankfully, we have $1200 in FSA dollars, but we've already used $400 plus Paul needs new glasses PLUS it has to last until May. Fuck.

Anyways, I just read a post on Lammytown about a 15 day old baby having heart surgery. My toe problems are so insignificant.