I Am.

I am a woman.

I am a mother.

I am someone's wife.

I am a professional.

I like to shop.

I love to read.

I procrastinate.

I worry.

I have sex.

I have breakfast with friends and dinners with my

family.

I get my hair done and wear makeup and change my clothes 10 times before leaving the house.

I am just like you and I am the face of the fight for women's reproductive rights.

I'm cracking open ye olde blog after nearly 3 months of no activity to talk today about the very real threat against women and our reproductive rights and what We are doing to make our voices heard. We will be heard.

Here are some interesting stats about abortion:

• 55% of all abortions are provided to women who are either married, divorced, or co-habitating. Unmarried women account for only 45% of abortions.
• 54% of all women who have abortions were on some form of birth control (usually condoms or the pill) when they got pregnant. Only 8% of women who have abortions have never used any form of birth control.
• Only 26% of abortions are performed on women who have had one abortion before, 52% on women who have never had an abortion before, and 22% on women who have had more than one abortion in the past.
• A vast majority (61%) of abortions are obtained by women who already have children.
• 88% of abortions are performed in the first twelve weeks, with 61% of those before 9 weeks, 17% between 9 and 10 weeks and 9% between 11 and 12 weeks. 6.6% are performed between 13 and 15 weeks, with 3.8% between 16 and 20 weeks and only 1.5% performed after 21 weeks. There is no data on abortions past viability, but most statistical agencies agree that it is an astronomically tiny number.

And now some myths:

• If abortion was made illegal, people would stop having abortions.
• That serves them right/they got what they deserved.
• You should just give the baby up for adoption. There are so many nice waiting families who would love it.
• Abortion is Murder.
• If you're pro-choice, you have had an abortion before.
• Abortions are covered by government assistance.
• Partial birth abortion exists and is a common method of abortion.

Really, I could go on. I believe in education. Educate yourself.

Would I choose abortion for myself? Probably not. I am an upper middle class woman with insurance, an incredible support system, and the means to care for a child. But I don't want that choice taken away. I don't want ANYONE'S choice to be taken away. It's more than just the right to choose to carry to term. Its my body. It's MY body. Where is the line? When does it become someone else's decision what happens to my body? Where is the line between forcing women to carry to term and investigating women who have had miscarriages for the "murder" of the fetus or in some cases, an EMBRYO? What about masturbation? Should the spilling of a potential life from a man's penis be considered abortion? After all...those microscopic sperm COULD HAVE CURED CANCER!@(*!^$&

I started this post with things that I am. Here is something that I am not:

I am not anti-choice. In anything.

Leave me and my body alone.

• 

Cliche "Thankful" Post

It's The Day After Thanksgiving. For my family, that means digging out our Christmas decorations and decking the halls. Its 4:00 and our halls aren't decked yet. Actually, I'm working.

Since I work for a large retailer, we don't get black Friday off. Actually, one of the fun things about working where I do is getting to work in the stores every once in a blue moon. Black Friday is a popular day for us corporate people to lend a hand in the stores. They need the help and it's free payroll for them. I headed out to my closest store this morning around 6:45. I stopped to get donut holes for the store associates. My goal was to be there before the bus of EVPs and SVPs arrived. No dice. I had already missed them even though I was there by 7:10. My first job was greeting customers and handing out chocolate bars. Next, I was assigned to an aisle that looked like a tornado had hit it. I didn't get to finish it, but got most of the way through. Since most people DO have today off, I needed to come home and get Ryan to bed for his nap. I did that and have since been in my office working. That's definitely a downfall of working from home. Even though I can shut the door, it's always lurking behind it. Plus, I'm not technically "off" today, so I should be working.

Now that it's nearing evening, I'm going to be shutting my stuff off for the weekend and spending some time with my family.

Now, onto my "What I Am Thankful For" list:

1. My family. My husband. My son. My parents. All of them.

2. Coffee. I've recently started grinding it fresh. Hell, I'm having a cup now.

3. Sleep. It just feels good.

4. All the material things in my life that make things easier (my iphone, dvr, laptop, online banking, keyless car so I never lose my keys)

5. My job. There are times when I wish my job wasn't as stressful, but overall, I like my boss, I like the company I work for, I like the actual work I do. Plus, I get to work from home in my jammies all day and get paid pretty darn well for it.

6. My friends. They're there when I need them and when I don't. That's all you can ask for.

7. Macy's. Yes, seriously. I LOVE Macy's. I love how it looks. I love how it smells. I love how it makes me feel to shop there. I suddenly find myself thinking, "Hmm, maybe I can go tonight!"

8. Our home. There are so many people who have so much less than we do. We are very fortunate.

9. My health. I'm young and in good health. I should take better care of my body.

10. More than anything, I'm thankful for Ryan. He brings me joy that I didn't know existed. He makes me laugh every day. He is full of wonder and love and I could stand to learn a thing or two from him.

That's my top 10. I could name more, I suppose, because I do reflect frequently on how fortunate I am to have all the things I do. And I am thankful for them. Now, to decide whether I want to go to Macy's or decorate my house this evening.

Life is not fair.

My friend Kristen's husband has stage 4 colon cancer. He is going to die very soon. He's on hospice now. He is in his two years older than my husband. That makes him thirty-three. I am horribly shaken by this news, which I just found out today. Kristen and I worked together back when I lived in Illinois and since I've moved, we haven't talked nearly as much. I knew he was sick but I guess I didn't realize how sick. He's going to die and it's not fair.

I had a bad afternoon. I got screamed at - literally - by one of our District Managers. This is a really hectic time for them and for our stores, as it is for most retailers. I was really upset by it and burst into tears the moment we hung up the phone. And I've let it dictate the rest of my afternoon and evening. I moped around until I went to get Ryan and then I moped around all evening as well. I didn't play with Ryan a lot and now I'm typing this from my bed, where I'm feeling sorry for myself. This is bullshit. I'm feeling sorry for myself because some pompous bully yelled at me for doing my job.

Then I think about my friend and her husband. And I think about The Sikes Family. And I realize that all my pissing and moaning is stupid and I need to get the fuck over myself.

Pie Time.

I keep forgetting that Thanksgiving is next week. I'm happily chugging along at work, scheduling interviews, when I see my calendar blocked out indicating I'm out of the office on Thursday. And then it dawns on me that it's Thanksgiving that day.

And for me, that means pie. I could give a crap less about the turkey, stuffing (blech), mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce. Give me pie and only pie. My Thanksgivings growing up did not typically include homemade pie. There was usually a pumpkin pie and a pecan pie. Perhaps a sub par apple pie as well. Over the last few years, I've insisted on homemade pies and have volunteered myself to make them. Admittedly, some years have been better than others. Here's what's in the pie lineup this year:

Creamy Blueberry Pie - this one, I made last year and made on occasion throughout the year. I love it because it's a fruit pie that's a bit tart and nice and cool and creamy.

Double Layer Pumpkin Cheesecake - This will be a new one for me to try this year. People like pumpkin pie and I like to give it a twist. I've done a pumpkin cheesecake before but I like the idea of a pie and a cheesecake all in one!

Classic Pecan Pie - Yup, the Karo recipe. It's the only way to go. I love pecan pie!

Banana Split Pie - No link for this one. It's a recipe of the mother of one of my coworkers. He brought it to work a few years ago and I couldn't get enough. It's now one of my family's favorites!

I'm debating on making an apple pie, if only to be able to try out these bad boys and making a pretty leaf top. They just look so cool. I have a friend who has made several pies with leaves baked onto the top and they're so beautiful.

There will also be a Marie Callendar cobbler. Because I can't be arsed to make a cobbler on my own after doing 3 or 4 pies.

I hated Thanksgiving as a kid. It was hands down my least favorite holiday. Now, I love it. We'll be celebrating at my mom's with 25 people in attendance. I sure hope they don't eat all the pie.

Be Married

We traveled to Starved Rock State Park in Illinois this past weekend to celebrate the marriage of Paul's sister, Bethany. It was Ryan's first plane ride and he did amazingly well. Much better than I had ever anticipated. It was only a quick trip, Saturday through Monday.

We got to see all of Paul's extended family and some had never met Ryan, so that was nice that they were able to meet him. We were fortunate to see some beautiful fall colors and the weather wasn't too cold, just perfect. It was a great trip.

This is Halloween.

Mama's got a brand new...

Camera.

Finally.

Seriously. My old pink Sony Cybershot was a gift back in 2005. It's nearly 2012, people. And I now have a child. I should not be relying on my iphone to capture priceless memories. Ye Olde Sony Cybershot had an amazing 4.5 megapixels. High tech, I'm tellin' ya.

I'd been thinking about procuring a new camera for awhile. My bff, Kelli, got a refurbished DSLR months ago and I've been green with envy and drooling over her sharp pictures ever since. I thought about it and sadly, decided that I'm not the kind of person who needs a DSLR. Namely because I'm cheap and can't afford it, even a refurb. I put it on the back burner for awhile. I think I previously mentioned how insanely busy I've been. Then I started thinking about Christmas cards....and I realized that I don't have any pictures of Ryan, or me, or Paul since May. How did this happen? I mean, I have some pictures. They're all on my iphone and half are of Ryan sleeping or are blurry.

It just so happens that I stumbled into $100 I had previously saved and forgotten about. I saved this $100 in 2003 and forgot about it. Seriously, 8 years ago. Anyways, so I had that and then I also got $100 from my work for completing the wellness incentive. So I was suddenly $200 richer. Anyways, rambling story short, I got a new camera today and I love it.

I actually ended up with another Sony Cybershot. Ye Olde Cybershot circa 2005 still works and served me well. Plus, the one I got has awesome reviews and was in my price range. It's not pink but its pretty freaking sleek and the quality of the pictures is just amazing. I guess I've been living in the stone age because my iphone was my go-to camera. I can't wait to take some awesome pictures!